Why I Don’t Co-Sleep: One Mom’s Personal Opinion On Why It Didn’t Work For Her Family


Before I get started, I want to say one thing. This piece is by no means saying that moms who do co-sleep are wrong. This is just my personal opinion.

First and foremost, I don’t co-sleep because I like to sleep! I like to curl up with my pillows and only worry about me. When a tiny person is sleeping next to me, I wake up all night to make sure they are ok. I also wake up all night because my tiny people are bed hogs and starfish, they breathe in my face, they sleep on top of me, and they take MY pillows! Don’t get me wrong; I love baby cuddles. But there is a time and place for them.

Outside of the basic comfort needs, the main reason I don’t co-sleep is my fear of SIDS. What the literature says is to room-share for the first six months. Room sharing is when the baby has their own bed in your room, while co-sleep or bed sharing, is when the baby sleeps with you. There have been reports of parents accidentally smothering their baby in their sleep. That resonates so much with me. It is enough to actually keep me awake while the babes lie next to me nursing.

My relationship with my husband is another major reason we don’t co-sleep. There is already so much distance between us after the baby is born. We decided that we didn’t literally need the distance of another person in our bed.

Last but not least, I think that there is something to be said about babies who learn to soothe themselves to sleep. In my experience, the parents who co-sleep early on end up doing it for much longer than they want. The problem is that sleep training is so much harder with older kids. They have the mental tools to say no, and they will.

My saving grace with my both my boys was our Owlet monitor. This gave me such peace of mind that they were ok, and I could sleep because it would alarm me if anything went wrong. Again, there’s nothing wrong with co-sleeping if you do it, these are just some reasons why I chose not to do it for our family.