There’s no denying how tough it is being a mom. It doesn’t matter if you’re a working mom, work-from-home mom, stay-at-home-mom, adoptive mom, foster mom or stepmom, the duties of modern motherhood can be very overwhelming. Not feeling as if you’re doing enough can really make mom guilt set in.
It’s a feeling all moms face at one time or another in their motherhood journey. Many are feeling it even more given the current pandemic situation we’re all living in. Being in survival mode makes us question our worth as moms, thus bringing down our spirits as we question our worth.
Mom guilt is a real thing and is even stronger right now…but it really doesn’t have to be. Mom guilt is feeling bad for letting your kids watch too much TV or feeding them frozen dinners instead of home-cooked meals. It’s feeling like you’re not mom material and that your kids deserve a better mom. Social media doesn’t help matters and can really exacerbate mom guilt as you see other moms and their perfect lives.
The good thing about mom guilt is that it’s not a feeling that lasts forever and you can overcome these feelings. First, you’ll want to identify the sources of your mom guilt. The severity of this guilt can depend on various things, such as past trauma, parenting with mental health conditions or an obsessive-compulsive disorder, and trying to improve on a parenting strategy to change the family dynamics. To figure out what the source is, try jotting down notes when you feel mom guilt creeping up so that you can identify what is causing these feelings. You’ll be able to see a pattern and then do something to change it.
You’ll also want to make sure that you’re helping yourself first and getting in some much needed self-care. Maybe you’re feeling this guilt because you’ve lost sight of things that matter most to you and are overcompensating by feeling guilty that you’re taking out your frustrations and worries on your children.
Surrounding yourself with supportive people is also helpful. If you can’t talk to your spouse, family or friends about your mom guilt, talking to a professional can greatly help you figure out the root of this guilt you can’t shake off. Maybe there are underlying causes to this guilt that doesn’t really have anything to do with your children? Talking to a therapist can greatly help when struggling with mom guilt.
If you’re suffering with mom guilt and need to vent, the Center for Fertility Support offers counseling sessions for moms looking for extra help. As a multi-service center that provides therapeutic support, specializing in fertility, along with exclusive services and referrals specific to your personal fertility journey. Their mission is not only to provide unwavering support, but to walk the path alongside you that will lead you to fulfilling your dreams of a family, or expanding the one you have.