That Tragic Moment Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

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That moment.  

 

That moment when you were once pregnant with a beautiful new baby is no longer there. 

That moment when you lose someone you’ve never even met but have developed an enormous amount of love for.  

Regardless if it’s for 9 days, 9 weeks, or 9 months, the pregnancy loss is one of the most emotionally tragic experiences a woman can go through.  I personally had this experience and underwent the tragedy of a miscarriage almost two years ago prior to having my beautiful baby, Christian.  While the pain and heartache of a miscarriage eventually fade, it will never disappear completely.  

 

A woman; a MOM, will always hold that baby she carried in her heart forever.  

To all of the women who have experienced an miscarriage for themselves, it hurts and it SUCKS, but you are BEAUTIFUL, you are AMAZING, you are STRONG, you WILL get through this hurt, and…

YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.  

Methods to Overcoming Pregnancy Loss: 

  • PRAYER – Pray, meditate, do what you do to find peace in your day 
  • TALK TO SOMEONE – Don’t hold it in, it will eat you up inside if you do; share your story and find women who have gone through the same thing as you.  Don’t be afraid to share your story, you will be surprised how many women are going through or have gone through a similar story
  • KEEP YOUR PARTNER INVOLVED – It’s very easy to remain in your head when you go through a miscarriage, but try to keep your partner involved with your emotions, don’t shut them out.  

It might sound silly to some, right?  How can you have so much, infinite love for someone you have never met?  BUT YOU DO.  

I am stronger because of that experience.  I am more faithful to God because that experience and I treasure my two beautiful boys even more because of that experience. 

Shortly after my miscarriage in November of 2016, I couldn’t sleep and wrote a love letter to the baby that I will never have and if you are open to it, I would like to share that with you today… 

To my dear precious baby, what I wouldn’t give to be able to STILL be carrying you today.  What I wouldn’t give to have the opportunity to meet you in July (2017).  What I wouldn’t give to not have gone through the tragedy of losing you. 

I am sorry baby.  I am sorry that I never got to see or hear your heartbeat.  I am sorry that I will never get to hold you and kiss you and nurse you and comfort you.  I am sorry that you will never get to meet your amazing daddy.  I am sorry you will never get to play with your big brother, Luc.  He would have loved you!  I am sorry I could not hold on to you longer.  I am sorry that I will never get to know you in this lifetime.  

A very dear friend sent this to me right after I miscarried to encourage me that Jesus now has my baby wrapped in his arms and protection.

You are so innocent and pure and I pray that in this very moment, Jesus has his amazing, comforting arms around you, embracing you with his love.  I pray that God will show you more love than I could ever give or imagine.  I pray that he will protect you from suffering and I pray that you will only know happiness, peace, and love.  You are perfect and you would have been amazing on this earth. Until we meet again, in Heaven (for the first time).

I want you to know that even though time has passed and life moves on, I am thankful for you. I will never stop thinking about you.  I will never stop loving you, and I will NEVER EVER forget you. 

Love forever and ever, 

Mama 

 

This post is in special honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 

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Heather is a born and raised Southern California girl gone Texas, who has a strong love for her family, friends, coffee, wine, food, amazing smelling candles, and sunshine. Although she always thought she would live in California forever, close to everyone and everything she knew, Heather took a leap of faith when her husband since 2010, Sean, informed her that his company was relocating to Allen, Texas. Heather and Sean moved to McKinney in January 2016 with their curly-haired, spirited, Lightning McQueen-obsessed, toddler son, Luc (joined the world in October 2014) and their obnoxious, Puggle, Teemu. She is enjoying every moment of her experience in North Texas and building friendships that she believes will last forever. A former advertising professional, Heather is now a stay-at-home, work-from-home (part time) mom, wife, friend, and follower of Christ, growing her faith each and everyday. She recently started studying to get her real estate license and is very ambitious to begin a new career that allows her the freedom to build her own business, while enjoying all of the little things that everyday motherhood and life have to offer. She loves to eat and has a passion for cooking, but believes that there is always a little “something” to add to any recipe she finds to make it her own. She loves fitness and living an all-around healthy lifestyle. When everyone in the house goes to bed, you will find her with a glass of wine or a cup of coffee (decaf of course, that late at night) in her hand, editing her daily iPhone photographs for her family in California, Instagram, and Facebook, while “pinning” the night away. You can find Heather at Happy & Healthy Mama and follow her on Instagram @happyandhealthymama.